Christmas time is always an interesting time of year. You get to be surrounded by family and friends, memories are made, past events that you wanted to block out of your mind are brought back to your attention, and you always end up with a gift you didn’t want and a few extra pounds added to your gut. All good stuff right?

Well Christmas time last year (2010) was one for the record books for me. The way things had played out with my divorce, Christmas weekend was the weekend that it was “official,” and that all the paper work had been signed…

That sparked a very deep emotion in me. Feeling very lost and unloved. As the weekend progressed I developed a desire far greater than the love my parents and friends could give me. I desired to be a true Man of God. I know that I am suppose to be a father and I am suppose to be a husband. I have known that for a while now. Everyone knows the difference between an infatuation and a genuine true authentic love. I’d be lying to you if I said my previous was all about the authentic true love. It had its spurts but mostly infatuation and the thought of marriage was an over riding emotion.

Wrapping up the Christmas weekend in Costa Rica with my parents and sisters, I went back to the United States and decided I was going to begin something most would call crazy or a waste of time, but I decided to write down my prayers to God about my future wife. For the last year I have wrote and prayed almost every day about and to my future wife.

Some of you know this about me already, most don’t. What I write is simple. Nothing in depth or about physical features by any means, mostly because I have no clue what my future wife will look like. I pray for her health, her walk with God, her purity, her family ( you marry them too when you get hitched,) and most of all just pray that she is patient and humble with where she is at right now.

Some things I’ve wrote.

“…I can’t wait to see how you react to my cooking, I’ve always thought I was a pro chef, but no one has really had to eat my food on a daily basis…”

” I pray that you are strong, while I am not with you yet I know that I struggle daily with patience and I am constantly wanting to make my own plan instead of waiting on Gods plan for me…”

” I love you already, It’s fun to say because I know that God will bless our marriage and it will be one full of love, laughter, sorrow, and pain. But most of all it will be a marriage where you push me to become more of a Man of God, one to take care of you and provide for you at all times….”

“Let’s go base jumping…You might not like it, but I think we should go.”

“You are going to be an incredible mother, I look forward to raising our children with you and getting to go to all the sporting events, ballet recitals, musicals, and ALL the parent events at school…”

“I pray that you are keeping God close to your heart, I pray that you are keeping him close in your daily walk, I know the world is tough, people say things, people act with anger in their hearts, but I know you can do it, I know you can keep God close through these troubling times. He loves you, and I pray that you know that…”

“You’re amazing and you don’t even know it yet, where ever you are, who ever you may be with…I know that they will never be able to love you as much as I can…No one can fully love someone without first having experienced the love of our Lord, I’ve been there, Ive been in the dumps and without the Lords love for me and and the love he still continues to have for me I would never be able to share a life full of genuine, authentic love, with you…I love you, B”

Those are just a few things I have wrote that stood out to me as I was flipping through my book. I want you to realize that I am not doing this for attention, I want who ever reads this to know that I have a love for Christ and daily I want to share that with everyone I come into contact with. Especially my future wife, I am so excited to share with her my heart and the love that Christ has for us.

Who knows maybe she is reading this right now.

Merry Christmas Everyone, Keep those whom you love close to you and remember that the reason we celebrate this day is because our Lord and savior was born.

Not all miracles come in the form that we imagine them coming in…

Many Blessings,

B